Some one-liners and dialogue from Cocco Bill albums

Raizu's Cocco Bill Site

This is a short version of the Finnish page. Some of the names I have kept as they were, some of them I have somehow translated. Most of the names are not original Italian nor English ones. Sorry, no can do!

Nota Bene! Be warned! There might be some spoilers!

CB - Intriques of the Mayor (no 1/1975)

  • Why you little apache! What are you playing, an indian? (Cocco)
  • Heh heh heh! You think I'm cruel, don't you? But this is only my hobby. (Krudelio Humpo)
  • I'm gonna shoot Cocco to his hat! - I'm gonna shoot to his eyes! He'll die eyes shut! - I'm gonna shoot to his first and last name and the place of birth! - I'll empty the barrel to his gums - that's fun for sure! - I'm gonna shoot four from the right and the left. That'll work! - I'm gonna shoot... well... from behind! - No, I'm gonna shoot him from behind! - Well, where am I gonna shoot him then? - To the spare tire! (The Kuknass brothers are planning to snuff Cocco. Black Kuknass and Red Kuknass disagree where to shoot Cocco.)
  • I've got plenty of fist for everyone! (Cocco at saloon fight)

CB - The Trainrobbers (no 2/1975)

  • Go ahead and play on the tracks then. But if you get hit by the train, don't come whining to me! (a mother to the child at the railway station)
  • This is the first time I'm traveling by train afoot. (a not so pleased passenger of a train)
  • Train, Thomas, where've you left the train?! (The station master to the conductor. "The train" arrives at the station but the train is actually missing.)
  • I'm just puffing a letter to my uncle. (an apache about smoke signals)
  • Let's get back to it. What kind of grave do you want? With or without your picture? ("Raving Mad" threatens to kick Cocco's ass)
  • You called for a porter, ma'am. Here I am! - What! A fakir! But we're not in India. - We're not? But there're Indians hanging around all over! - Yes, the Indians are here, not in India. So this is not India. Clear? - Um, who's got it clear on anything? It's "yes" and it's "not"! (the teacher Susan Ailoviu and the fakir)
  • Since the peace pipe is not in use, let's puff some cigarettes! (Cocco to the apache chief)

CB - Mashlanders (no 3/1975)

Against who

  • Piter King's horse looks like this, 'cos he learned to ride at an early age. (a hobby-horse)
  • A chamomile with pistacchio! Okay? - Okay! - One dollar, please! - Here'z yer dollar! Keep the change! (Cocco and the saloon keeper)
  • Um... Heureka! I'll hit him with the coffee grinder! That'll allways do the trick... (Svabb Kapalo)
  • Move - and you're a graveyard-candidate! (threats to the stagecoach passengers)


  • Oh my! It's raining teeth and a lot! (an old geezer about the saloon fight)
  • I'll stamp his ass with "the friend of MacMash"! (Davide MacMash about his riffle)
  • Thanks... Um... Is this a doggy house? - No son, it's my house! (Cocco visits Mashlanders, who are of the size of a midget)
  • I'll explain with guns! (Tomas Vattakura)

CB - Against two gangs (no 4/1976)

  • Listen you stranger on your pale horse, do you have a licence to go around making a joke of yourself? (Rick Turnip)
  • So if you're gonna spagetize I'm gonna go to saloon and chamomileze. (Cocco to Slowtrot)
  • Woe is us! They killed all of us. (Curt Belly)
  • While we were about to die these two scoundrels were just playing the poker! - What can you do, they are horses! (Cocco and the sheriff Kari-Cannon)

Swich cheese

  • Oh my poor teeth... All ninety of them gone. Who's laughing any more... (he was laughing at Cocco drinking chamomile)
  • And you old bag, go howling to Cornwall! In here you get to the nerves of the late Cocco Bill! (Fred Not treatens a crying woman with a gun)

CB - Chickeneye and the eyeless (no 2 [5] / 1976)

  • If it's tales I'll win and you two will lose. If it's heads, you will lose and I will win! Agreed? (Cocco)
  • We're the one-eyed, we're going to the pasture where we're not gonna be eaten, we're the chicken really and unfortunatelly... Paramparara! (the marching and singing one-eyed chicken)
  • Open the handcuffs you goof! - Don't call the richer names! (the Sheriff Flask and Riwolli Rex)
  • A guy with two or three legs paralyzed isn't able to walk... Something fishy in it! (the sheriff Flask is wondering)
  • He's gonna brew beer out of the one-eyed hens! For a crime like that the government puts you to the jail right away!
  • Now that we two are alone... um... may I offer you something? - Yes, five thousand dollars! (Masi Cara and sheriff Flask)
  • Don't let them furious chicken kill me. ("The Plait" pleas for mercy)

Cocco driini - Western story in cis minor

  • He could not read the sign "Don't shoot the pianist". Luckily he missed... (The sheriff Rockstove)
  • Tam and Ding did their share of it. Andante con kickass! (Biss Kroma)
  • Don't shoot the band! [Unless it runs away!] (The villains were hired to play in the saloon. The name of the band is "the Bad LongHaireds")

CB - Baa-baa thieves (no 1/1977)

  • The guy sure has loads of stuff! But what's dad white thing? - It's a lamb. (Cocco and mr. Boss)
  • I wanted to get him alive, but he'z dead! - Well you don't always get to have what you've wished for! (Cocco and Brik Zumma after the assassin passed away)
  • What a cruel fate! A moron as a master, that's what I'm used to, but does he has to be a lamb! Oh this is an infinite shame! (Slowtrot dislikes his cowarding master who's joined into a pack of lambs)
  • Little-Bob is slower but the faster.
  • The massacre is uncredible! But lovely!

CB - The Beautiful, The Bad and the Ugly (no 2/1977)

  • Didn't I say Thomas, don't sit and play on the streets. You're on the way of a nice and calm shooting! (a mother to the child)
  • This sign is useless! These can't read! (The sign says: "Don't shoot the pianist". The piano and the player are full of bullet holes!)
  • One chamomile plz! - With of without?? - With! (Cocco orders a chamomile tea at the saloon.)
  • I was drugged with chlorophyl. The one with black mask did it! I swear! - With chlorophyl, you said? (Bruk the Ugly and Cocco)
  • Let's save some bullets for tomorrow or we won't have any fun.
  • Yippee, here it is! Soon we're gonna be richer than Onassis! But, we're alive. Wahoo! (Bruk the Ugly digging the treasure)
  • Here's for the starters! I hate to smack you, I rather would've shooted! (The Diabolic beating up one of his men)
  • Action is the best entertainment. And perhaps I'll get to torture someone. (The Diabolic ponders what to do)
  • The injuns are going to attack! There's thousands of them! - Oh, what a pitty! - And they're gonna scalp everyone. Even the balded! (there are rumours all over the town)
  • Now you're gonna snuff it! You're gonna totally die! (The Diabolic shoot at Cocco)
  • This is not fair! They cut off my beard and hair!! - It's okay! Suits ya better! Only the hippies and radicals wear long hair! (Bruk the Ugly has been scalped and complains it to Cocco)
  • Well alright. I already got bored with all this killing and haircutting! Let's shake on it! (The injun chief agrees for peace)

CB - The Chickeneye (no 3/1977)

Cocco and the hard chamomile

  • Okay boss, maybe you've made a mistake! Guess who did you just boozed! - I don't know Pat! Some foreign clown! (Tom Totallyclean forced Cocco to drink whisky.)
  • Now the guy gets an air conditioning! - Oh! My new shirt! (villains shoot the sheriff who dies)
  • Oh please help me somebody! He's stepping on my toes! - Well, you had more than enought of them! (Cocco is waisted for the first time ever and wants to dance)


  • Here's Cocco Bill riding on an old war path. It's called the Path of Garibaldi, because it's the only path he never took!
  • Hello corporal! Did you hear the news? - The BBC or CNN? (Cocco meets three soldiers of the Cavalry)
  • Ugh! The pleasure was mine! And when they invent the telephone, call me! (the farewell of Cocco and the injun chief)

CB - the Spooks (no 1/1978)

  • The sheriff is one crazy son of a gun. But that's usual with coppers! (mr Kad thinks)
  • All what a man of your kind can understand is a punch in the face! (the sheriff to a man)
  • For all who take the dynamite will perish by the dynamite! (Cocco)
  • I'm not a son of a yesterday's black grouse! - Yeah, I've noticed! You're an owl! (the sheriff and Cocco)
  • Stop it will you please! You've talked for six hours. Somebody just fainted! - Who cares. This was a fine story! (mr. Kad has just explained the whole thing to the citizens)

CB - Something wrong with the potatoes (no 1 [10] /1979

  • Please, no flowers on my grave. But the music of Sibelius will do. (somebody just passed away)
  • In a first and last name of the law, put your guns down and paws high! (the Double-sheriff don't fancy the criminals)
  • Hi, Double! I thought you were half dead, but you're only half wounded. (Cocco is happy to see the sheriff)
  • Why don't you drink your beer here? - Nope, I'm taking the rest to the home. (guy pours the beer into his pocket)
  • Trapdoors and venomous snakes! You wusses! (Cocco)
  • Paleface die now! - Paleface say to Sioux: Leave warpath, or Paleface pops the Sioux eyes like THIS. (injun and Cocco)
  • If paleface goes BANG on Sioux, Sioux goes UGH and kicks the bucket. (injun)
  • You glutton! You just ate an apothecary from Albuquerque yesterday. Now it's my turn! - Really! It's your turn to get your ass kicked! (The Pumas disagree who is to eat Cocco)
  • I do have some good ideas myself. For example this! And this! This is one of the best. (MacCaroni gets to meet Coccos fists)


  Updated 2010/02/25

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Pictures by permission and copyright of Benito Jacovitti.